So my mom works at a church. Actually, she works somewhere that is located in a church, but close enough for government work. It’s not important. Anyway, they had an artist gallery, because sometimes churches do that; it’s a whole “supporting local artists” thing, and it’s pretty standard.
What is very not standard is the artist they happened to host this week.
Susan B. Hale is a musician and painter in the Upstate NY region. (For people wondering where that is: it’s all the not-NYC part. There’s actually an entire state attached to the city, like a big, slightly-racist wart. I’m getting off track.)
Susan’s art is fairly standard, lovely oil-on-canvas Impressionist stuff. Mostly flowers –
– some pretty landscapes –
– some weird abstract shit –
Pretty stuff. If I had anything resembling disposable income, I’d wanna buy some of this stuff, because it’s gorgeous.
You know what else she paints, sometimes?
BIG FUCKING DINOSAURS
BIG FUCKING DINOSAURS FROLICKING WITH FLOWERS
BIG FUCKING DINOSAURS NOSHING ON HUMAN SKULLS IN A BLACK VOID-LIKE HELLSCAPE
BIG FUCKING DINOSAURS ON BIG FUCKING CANVASES PLAYING HIDE-AND-SEEK WITH DEAD FLOATING LADIES BY PICTURESQUE PONDS HOW ARE YOU NOT DELIGHTED BY THIS
Obviously, my immediate reaction was to seek this woman out and find her all of the money. But while I did absolutely spend two hours looking up who she was and then emailing her, she doesn’t appear to have an Etsy – or any online store at all. She has virtually no digital presence, and not much of a reputation offline either.
And this is tragic.
Because let’s be real: this woman should be a fucking internet star. She paints lovely scenes of tranquility and fills them with T-Rexes for no apparent reason, other than that she thinks they’re rad. There’s an alternate reality in which she’s a Tumblr legend, and I want to live in that reality.
So here’s the thing. I know I’m not a Big Tumblr Person. I have virtually no clout in things like this, and the odds of anyone seeing this post are kinda limited. But I also want this woman to be so inundated with requests for awesome dino paintings that she has no choice but to open up an online store. I want my home and those of everyone I know to be filled with humungous, lush oils of morbid hilarious dinosaur beauty, like if Monet spent a glorious weekend binging all of Jurassic Park while also on a cocaine bender.
Reblog this. Email her telling her how great you think she is and how much you wish she had an amazon site or whatever. Consider supporting her, if you have some money and love dinosaurs. Boost the shit out of this, because even if she doesn’t get a single dime, her artwork makes me smile and I want to at least share the happy with others, and maybe bounce some of it back to her.
I am not sorry for the length of this post. You got pretty flowers and fucking dinos and you are welcome for it.
@systlin Yooo can you help boost this?
Anyway this is the best thing since sliced bread. I am delighted, /delighted/ I say, by impressionist dinosaurs.
OH MY GODS
The fact that the last title is titled
is just several layers of literary and metaphorical genius that I currently don’t have time to unpack but holy shit I want it.